Allegorical insight into the minds of liberals
Katie, a college student who considered herself to be a liberal Democrat, challenged her father, a staunch Republican, on his opposition to taxes and welfare. He responded by asking about her grades.
"I have a 4.0 GPA," Katie replied, "but school is tough. I have to study all of the time, and don't have any free time to go out and party. I have little time for my friends, and no time at all for a boyfriend."
He then asked about her friend Jennifer.
"She's not doing very well. Her GPA is 2.0 because she spends most of her time partying rather than studying. She often skips classes because she is too hung over, or having fun with the many guys she hangs out with. Jennifer is very popular."
Her father then asked Katie why she didn't request that the Dean's office deduct 1.0 from her 4.0 and give it to Jennifer so they would both have a 3.0 GPA. Clearly riled by that suggestion, Jennifer exclaimed, "That wouldn't be fair! I worked very hard and Jennifer does almost nothing!"
The father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
Another story that illustrates the absurdity of "spreading the wealth around"
While speaking with a friend's son, I asked what he wanted to be when he grew up.
Tom proudly announced, "I want to be President!"
This caused his parents, both of whom are liberal Democrats, to beam with pride.
I then inquired, "If you become President, what is the first thing you would do?"
Tom replied, "I would give houses to all homeless people."
"That is a worthy goal," I said, "but you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. I have lots of yard work and painting that needs to be done. I need a couple of sheds built, too. It's a lot of work, but I will pay you $10,000 for doing it. I'll then take you to see a homeless man so you can give him the money to help him buy a home."
Tom's mother glared at me and demanded, "My son is busy. Why don't you just pay the homeless guy to do the work?"
I smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."