Doctor compliments hot patient; should she pursue him?
Q: I am a 37-year-old single female who recently was treated by a 50-year-old MARRIED gynecologist-oncologist for further testing for suspected tumor. Good news is the tumor was benign, but in the duration, I met with my surgeon 5-6 times and each time he did the typical doctor thing by asking personal questions, being friendly and always attentive, but he would comment on how attractive I was, both to me and mom, sometimes saying that 3-4 times in one visit. He always complimented me on my hair, shoes, how great i looked and he also referred to me as “sweetheart.” He personally removed my drain tube and even removed the Steri-strips himself while remarking how tiny my waist was. He even made the point of saying, “I'm going to give you a horizontal cut since you are so young and attractive.” Yes, he did have a nurse in the room with him at all times and my mom was always there, too. I have seen many docs in the past six months and no one has behaved like this.
I read all your posts and now want your opinion: is he acting in normal doctor form and just being nice or is he actually interested for possibly more? I don't know if he is like this with all his patients or just me? I figured if he wanted more he would contact me himself since I technically am no longer his patient.
As a doctor, what is your advice? Pursue him at the risk of being wrong or forget about him? Any way you can find out for me if he is interested? ;) Thanks a lot, waiting for your answer!
Answer by Kevin Pezzi, MD: It seems obvious to me that he is not only attracted to you, but VERY attracted to you. Many men possess a gene that compels them to compliment the appearance of women whom they find exceedingly attractive. Thus, it is difficult to say whether he lauded your appearance to butter you up, hoping that the compliments would heighten your willingness to date him (what men don't realize is that this often backfires), or whether a defect in his dorsolateral prefrontal cortex compelled him to blurt out things he should not have said. Don't get me wrong: I am not opposed to giving compliments, but he seems to have gone overboard. Granted, you sound as if you are hot, but he is there to treat you, not hit on you. Again, a brief compliment in passing seems acceptable to me, but your beauty made him act like a teenage boy in heat.
So is he "acting in normal doctor form"? No.
Is he "interested for possibly more"? Possibly. If I had to guess, I'd say yes.
Is he like this with all his patients or just you? I don't know, but if I had to guess, I would venture that his hormones kick into overdrive when he is around other gorgeous women.
While you are no longer his patient, he almost certainly will not contact you. For one thing, he is married, and probably isn't eager to have an attorney representing his wife in a divorce settlement instantly reduce his net worth by over 50%.
I don't see any risk to you if you wish to pursue him (other than the usual hassles of getting involved with a married man), but if you are as hot as you seem to be, you won't have any trouble attracting other single doctors, businessmen, entrepreneurs, etc. In fact, if you want to send your picture to me so that I can post it here, you will have your pick of many men who wish to meet you. You won't need to post your e-mail address to receive messages from those interested men if you create a MySpamSponge account (I created that site, incidentally). Your MySpamSponge handle (contact code) might be tiny_waist or something like that, which is all those men need to contact you via MySpamSponge. Note how my site gives you the ability to post your contact info anywhere without the risk of it ending up on a spammer's list.
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